Here's the game we're gooing to play today. You start your sentacne with 'When I am king..' and then you suggest some outlandish and silly laws you'd like to enforce. They have to be ridiculous and impracical but still make some measure of sense and carry a genuine comment about our culture buried inside. I'll start naturally.

When I am king...

All conflict from warfare to gang fights to petty spats will be settled with barehanded brawling. In the case of wars there will be an old fashioned 7o's style rumble where no weapon is allowed. You are permitted to be as drunk as you like, but no pain killers or narcotics.

Everyone who's income exceeds $200,000 anually will be required in public to be naked from the waist down at all times. this rule also applies to all elected officials.

Anyone applying for welfare when the number of children they have exceeds three will be required to first eat one of them.

Anyone who denies evolution as a good explanation for the evidence we have will be forced to read 'climbing mount improbable' and then take a test proving thier comprehension of it's contents followed by reading a detailed description of what a stone fish is, followed by staring at a picture of a sea lion's toenails. This will repeatt until they admit they are wrong.