I blew my back out last Thursday.  I went to urgent care.  I hate doing that for back pain, they always assume you're a drug seeker.  When you say your pain is a 9/10 and you can't show them a bone sticking out of you, they have their doubts.  The doctor took one look at me and started writing out the scripts.  I got a bottle of percodan, a bottle of flexeril, and some anti-inflammatories.  Friday and Saturday, I was pretty laid up.

The girlfriend was pretty distressed.  It was the first time I've shown any weakness in front of her.  We've been dating since last July, so it's pretty serious.  She hung in there like a trooper and tried not to be too much of a pussy.  The pain was pretty severe, agonizing sciatic pain in the top of my left butt cheek and radiating pain all the way down my leg.  By Sunday, she was fed up.  At first I thought she was a bitch that couldn't handle more than a couple days helping out a boyfriend of almost one year.  I figured out it was because she wasn't getting any sex.  That's almost as bad.  I didn't know whether to be happy I have a girlfriend with a libido like an eighteen year old boy or annoyed she was pissed I was too infirm to service her.

We worked something out, but it wasn't like my usual routine.  It was a stop gap measure.

I felt good enough tonight to make a cautious effort at proper sex.  I figured I'd take it easy and see how it went, figuring I could bail if it seemed to be messing anything up.

What I didn't consider is once I get started, you could stab me through the heart and I wouldn't even start bleeding until I was done.  Since I'd abstained for a while, I went primal.  I vaguely considered that I'd be a twisted up pretzel man and be laid up for another week after the endorphins wore off during the act.  But low and behold, I'm cured.  I feel great.  Could my back pain merely be semen levels being too high?  Could it have been referred pain from my scrotum?

Assuming the sex was curative, I have a whole new respect for wholistic medicine.