Two men got on the subway after work one day. They looked at each other and noticed they both had black eyes. One man looked at the other and said, "Hey man, how did you get your shiner?"

The other man responded, "Well, it was a misunderstanding. This morning I was riding the subway and there was a lady sitting beside me with these crazy looking boots on. I was going to say, 'Nice boots'. But instead I accidentally said 'Nice boobs'. So she slugged me."

"Gotcha," the other man replied. "That's sorta the same way I got mine."

"Really? What happened?"

"Well. This morning I was eating breakfast with my wife and kids. I looked up from my paper to ask my wife if she could pass the OJ. But instead I accidentally said, 'You ruined my life you fat bitch'."