-The last fight was my fault. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?" I said," Dust!"

-What is the difference between a dog and a fox? About 5 drinks.

-Do you know the punishment for bigamy? Two mothers-in-law.

-The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.

-First guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!" Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."

-How do most men define marriage? An expensive way to get laundry done for free.

-Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.

-If you want your wife to listen and pay attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.