4. If you refuse to take a dump in a public bathroom or piss in a parking
lot, you crave a deep homosexual relationship. A man's world is his bathroom;
he defecates and urinates where he pleases.
5. If you drink anything other than regular coffee. A straight man will
never be heard ordering a 'Decaf Soy Latte'. If you've put a Decaf Soy Latte to
your lips, you've had a man there, too.
6. If you know more than six names of non standard colors or four
different types of dessert other than ice cream and pie, you might as well be
handing out free ass passes. A real man doesn't have memory space in his brain to
remember all of that crap. If you can pick out chartreuse or you know what
a 'fressier' is you might be gay. And if you can n ame ANY type of textile
other than cotton or denim, you are gay.