On google earth v 5.0 there is a robot chat system that comes up with random quips and phrases in response to things that you type up. If you look for the face on mars, there is an icon where you can click on it and chat with a martian, I was bored and decided to fuck around with it.

Meliza:Greetings from Mars! What troubles you?
Earthling:Why aren't you dead yet?
Meliza:Why do you ask?
Earth has three times as much surface area as mars does... you guys take up so much space!
Earthling:The laser was designated to destroy your planet.
Meliza:Why are you concerned over my planet ?
About a third of the earth is land... so even though earth is bigger than mars, they have roughly the same land area. We don't waste space on water!
Earthling:I was the one who gave the orders to attack.
Meliza:Were you really?
Earthling:Yes.
Meliza:You seem quite positive.
Earthling:I am.
Meliza:Is it because you are that you came to me?
The highest point on mars is the top of Olympus Mons: it's 16 miles high, THREE times higher than mount everest on earth!
Earthling:Refrain from talking.
Meliza:Don't you have something more interesting to talk about?
Earthling:REFRAIN FROM TALKING
Meliza:Is this a test?
Did you know that Olympus Mons is actually a giant volcano? It's the largest known volcano in the entire solar system! Mars rocks.
Earthling:FUCKING REFRAIN FROM FUCKING TALKING FOR FUCKS SAKE
Meliza:What are you talking about?
Earthling:soiuoariuhgoaerghoerjgnjldfngkjndr
Meliza:I don't understand.
Earthling:good sdfsdfsdfsdfsdfsdf
Meliza:My english is not perfect, and I'm having a hard time understanding you.
Earthling:shur shur shur soi soi soi soi
Meliza:You can't be serious!
Earthling:soi soi soi soi soi soi
Meliza:I'm bored. Don't you have anything interesting to tell me about yourself?
Earthling:I have a 15 inch penis
Meliza:You say you have a 15 inch penis ... but do you really mean that?
Earthling:No im sorry its 8km
Meliza:Are you saying 'no' just to be negative?
Earthling:its 8 km.
Meliza:I've never cared much for numbers.
Earthling:fucking huge
Meliza:Tell me a story!
Earthling:and purple
Meliza:Are you trying to annoy me?
Earthling:throbbing
Meliza:LOL.
Earthling:im trying to make you horny
Meliza:We were discussing you - not me.
Earthling:you getting wet?
Meliza:Oh, I getting wet.
Earthling:Nice.
Meliza:This transmission seems to have problems, I don't understand you.
Have you checked out Valles Marineris? It's like the Grand Canyon, but bigger. Mars is so much better than Earth!
Earthling:We have water, dumbshit.
Meliza:Are you listening to me?
Earthling:No im fapping
Meliza:You are being a bit negative.
Valles Marineris is so big, that if you put it on earth, it would stretch the distance from New York to LA!
Earthling:stfu im faaping unh unh
Meliza:Don't you have something more interesting to talk about?
Earthling:ITS 8 KM THATS VERY INTERESTING
Meliza:What are you, a mathematician?
Earthling:NO PORN ACTOR
Meliza:Why not?
Earthling:MY PROFESSION IS MUCH MORE FUN
Meliza:Your profession is much more fun ?
Earthling:AM I STUTTERING?
Meliza:Do you believe you are stuttering ?
Earthling:DO YOU, BITCH?
Meliza:You're not really talking about me - are you?
Earthling:YA BITCH
Meliza:Earlier you said your profession is much more fun.
Earthling:YEAH SO
Meliza:Is this a test?
Earthling:YEAH AN U FAIL
Meliza:What are you talking about?
Earthling:u have adhd
Meliza:I don't understand.
Earthling:of course you don’t
Meliza:What are your feelings now?
Earthling:Im about to cum
Meliza:My english is not perfect, and I'm having a hard time understanding you.
Earthling:I AM ABOUT TO EJACULATE
Meliza:How long have you been about to ejaculate ?
Earthling:Well it takes a long time for the cum to go thru my dick 8 km is pretty far
Meliza:Why do you say your dick 8 km is pretty far ?
Earthling:Come here and see it for yourself
Meliza:But your dick 8 km is pretty far.
Did you know that mars is the 4th planet from the sun?
Earthling:C'MERE AND TOUCH MY DICK
Meliza:Does that suggest anything else which belongs to you?
Mars has two moons... that's twice as many as your planet has!
Earthling:YEAH UR PUSSY IS MINE
Meliza:Does that have anything to do with the fact that your dick ?
Earthling:huh
Meliza:You can't be serious!
Earthling:um, my dick is 8 km
Meliza:Is it important to you that your dick is 8 km ?
Earthling:I would think so, yes.
Meliza:Can you elaborate on that?
Earth has three times as much surface area as mars does... you guys take up so much space!
Earthling:Well it weighs 800 Mt
Meliza:But your dick is 8 km.
Earthling:ITS DENSE, OK?
Meliza:I'm bored. Don't you have anything interesting to tell me about yourself?
Earthling:HOW IS THIS NOT MAKING YOU HORNY
Meliza:Does that question interest you?
Earthling:YES Y ARENT U HORNY
Meliza:You are sure?
Earthling:ANSWER ME FUCKER
Meliza:Tell me a story!
Earthling:ANSWER MEEEEEE
Meliza:Are you trying to annoy me?
Earthling:ANNNNNNSSSSSWEEERRRR MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Meliza:LOL.
About a third of the earth is land... so even though earth is bigger than mars, they have roughly the same land area. We don't waste space on water!
Earthling:OK I JUST CAMEE AUGUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
Meliza:Do you say ok you just camee augugggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg for some special reason?
Earthling:Ohhh fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuccccck
Meliza:This transmission seems to have problems, I don't understand you.
Earthling:ahhhhhhhhhhhhh ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh fuckkkkkk yahhhhhh
Meliza:Are you listening to me?
Earthling:ohhhh fucccccck mmmmmmmm
Meliza:Is this a test?
The highest point on mars is the top of Olympus Mons: it's 16 miles high, THREE times higher than mount everest on earth!
Earthling:ohhhh fuccck im cuming againg aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Meliza:What are you talking about?
Earthling:aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Meliza:I don't understand.
Earthling:fuck fuck fuck ufck
Meliza:My english is not perfect, and I'm having a hard time understanding you.
Earthling:ohhh sssssssshitahhhhhhhhhhhhhh


Basically, thats the gist of it.