"There are only two reasons to sit in the back row of an airplane: Either you have diarrhea, or you're anxious to meet people who do." Henry Kissinger (former US Secretary of State)
"Things you'll never hear a woman say: 'My, what an attractive scrotum!' Patricia Arquette
"And God said: "Let there be Satan, so people don't blame everything on me. And let there be lawyers, so people don't blame everything on Satan." George Burns
"Luge strategy? Lie flat and try not to die." Carmen Boyle (Olympic gold medalist in luge, 1966)
"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships." Sharon Stone
"My girlfriend always laughs during sex-no matter what she's reading." Steve Jobs (Founder: Apple Computers)
"My cousin just died. He was only 19. He got stung by a bee-the natural enemy of a tightrope walker." Dan Rather (News anchorman)