Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.



Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.



Chuck Norris always has sex on the first date. Always.



A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.



Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.



There is no such thing as tornados. Chuck Norris just hates trailer parks.



Chuck Norris never cries, because of this when he's sad he roundhouse kicks himself and it makes him feel better since he knows he is the only one who can survive the roundhouse.



Chuck Norris does not procreate, he breeds