So there's this guy from West Texas drinking beer in a Louisiana bar on Cinco de Mayo, not too far from the bayou. He sees this hand written sign hung over the cash register which reads:


WIN BOTTLE OF RARE TEQUILA
ASK BARTENDER FOR INFO


Curious about this contest, he summons the bartender.

"Oh, you a tequila man, huh?" begins the bartender. "Dis here bottle be a rare treasure- de last of a private reserve worth almos' two thousan' dollahs. To win it here's what you gotta do. Dere's dis alligatah out back wid a bad tooth. You gotta go on back dere an' pull it."

The Texan's eyes grow wide. "But dat's not all," says the bartender. He scans the length of the bar, anticipating eavesdroppers. He motions the Texan closer and continues in a feigned hushed tone.

"Dere's a woman upstairs who's nevah had a orgasm," the bartender states. "Make good on both o' dem tasks and dat bottle is yours."

The Texan ponders both missions over several more beers. After having drank enough liquid courage he announces that he accepts the challenge. The bartender points the Texan towards the back door, beyond which is the alligator.

From inside the barroom the other patrons hear what sounds like a loud, ferocious battle. There's all manner of snarling, crashing, and things getting broken. The whole bar even shakes with a long rumble for nearly a minute before all goes quiet.

To everyone's surprise the Texan walks back into the bar. He's torn up pretty badly and panting for breath. He lights a smoke, then calls out, "Okay- bring on the woman with the bad tooth!"