COLD IS A RELATIVE THING. . . . . . .
65 above zero:
Floridians turn on the heat.
People in South Dakota plant gardens.

60 above zero:
Californians shiver uncontrollably.
People in South Dakota sunbathe.

50 above zero:
Italian & English cars won't start.
People in South Dakota drive with the windows down.

40 above zero:
Georgians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, wool hats.
People in South Dakota throw on a flannel shirt.

35 above zero:
New York landlords finally turn up the heat.
People in South Dakota have the last cookout before it gets cold.

20 above Zero
People in Miami all die.
South Dakotans close the windows.

Zero:
Californians fly away to Mexico .
People in South Dakota get out their winter coats.

10 below zero:
Hollywood disintegrates.
The Girl Scouts in South Dakota are selling cookies door to door.

20 below zero:
Washington DC runs out of hot air.
People in South Dakota let the dogs sleep indoors.

30 below zero:
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
South Dakotans get upset because they can't start the Snow-mobile.

40 below zero:
ALL atomic motion stops.
People in South Dakota start saying....'Cold enough fer ya?'

50 below zero:
Hell freezes over.
South Dakota public schools will open 2 hours late