A Married man goes to the confessional and says to his priest, "I had an affair with a woman, almost.." The priest says, "What do you mean, almost?" The man says, "Well, we undressed and rubbed together, but then I stopped." The priest says, "Rubbing together is the same as putting it in. You're not to see that woman again. Now say five Hail Mary's and put $50 in the offering box." The man leaves the confessional, goes over and says his prayers, then walks over to the offering box. He pauses for a moment and then starts to leave. The priest, who was watching him, quickly runs over to him and says, "I saw that you didn't put any money in the offering box!" The man replies, "Yeah, but I rubbed the $50 on the box, and apparently that's the same as putting it in."