A guy walked into a bar with his pet monkey and
ordered a drink. While he was drinking, the monkey
jumped all around the place. It grabbed some olives
off the bar and ate them, then grabbed some sliced
limes and ate them. It jumped onto the pool table,
took one of the billiard balls, stuck it in his mouth,
and to everyone's amazement, somehow swallowed
it whole.

The bartender screamed at the guy, "Did you see
what your monkey just did?"

The guy said, "No, what?"

"He just ate a billiard ball off my pool table...
whole!"

"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy,
"he eats everything in sight. Sorry, I'll pay for the
cue ball and stuff." He finished his drink, paid his
bar bill and paid for the stuff the monkey ate and
walked out.

Two weeks later he came into the bar again
along with his monkey. He ordered a drink
and the monkey started running around the
bar as before. While the man was finishing
his drink, the monkey found a maraschino
cherry on the bar. He grabbed it, stuck it up
his butt, then pulled it out and ate it. Then it
found a peanut.. This, too, he stuck up his
butt, pulled it out and ate it.

The bartender was disgusted "Did you see
what your monkey did now?" he asked.

"No, what?" replied the guy.

"Well, he stuck a maraschino cherry up his
butt, pulled it out and ate it The same with
a peanut!"

"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me." said the guy.
"He still eats everything in sight, but ever since
he had to pass that cue ball, he measures
everything first."