Why did the baby fall off the swing?
Because it had no arms or legs.

Why did the dead baby cross the road?
It was chained to a bumper

What's the difference between a Cadillac and a pile of dead babies?
I don't have a Cadillac in my garage.

What do vegetarian ogres eat?
Cabbage patch kids.

What does a blind, deaf, quadriplegic baby can get for Christmas ?
Cancer.

What's white and bobs up and down in a baby's crib ?
A Pedophiles ass.

What's worse than smoking pot with a baby?
Making a bong out of it

How do you prevent a baby from exploding in the microwave?
Poke holes in it with a coat hanger.

When is the best time to bury that baby you killed?
When it starts talking to you again.

Why is there always hot water at childbirth?
In case of a stillbirth, soup.