Three old men were sitting around talking about who had the worst
health problems.
The seventy-year-old said, "Have I got a problem. Every morning I
get up at 7:30 and have to take a piss, but I have to stand at the
toilet for an hour 'cause my pee barely trickles out."

"Heck, that's nothing," said the eighty year old. "Every morning at
8:30 I have to take a shit, but I have to sit on the can for hours
because of my constipation. It's terrible."

The ninety-year-old said, "You guys think you have problems! Every
morning at 7:30 I piss like a racehorse, and at 8:30 I shit like a
pig. Only problem is, I don't wake up till eleven."