How can you tell when an auto mechanic just had sex?
One of his fingers is clean

What's the new and politically correct name for Lesbian?
Vagitarian

What do you call a lesbian Eskimo?
Klondike

What do you call kids born in whorehouses?
Brothel sprouts

Did you hear about the new "Divorce Barbie"?
It comes with all of Ken's stuff

"Doctor! Doctor! I feel like a pack of cards!"
"Sit down and I'll deal with you later."

"Doctor! Doctor! I feel like a bridge!"
"What's come over you?"

"Doctor! Doctor! I feel like a pair of curtains!"
"Pull yourself together!"

Why did Santa's little helper feel depressed?
He had low elf esteem

What's considered bi-sexual in Alabama?
Someone who likes sheep and goats

How do you piss off a female archeologist?
Give her a used tampon and ask her what period it came from

Did you hear that the governor's mansion in Montgomery, Alabama burned d