An old man goes to see the doctor and gets some tests. When the results come in, the doctor calls the old man in and says, “You'd better sit down. It's pretty bad.”
The old man, naturally, gets all nervous and asks, “What is it, Doc? Don't hold back -- just give it to me straight.”

“Well,” says the doctor, “you have cancer and you have Alzheimers.”

The man replies, “Wow. Well, at least I don't have cancer.”