What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? -- time to get a new fence.

What is green, red, and runs 100 mph? -- a frog in a blender

What is yellow, has wheels and lies on its back? -- a dead school bus

Why did the man throw his margarine? -- he wanted to see the butter fly

What did the finger say to the thumb? -- I'm in glove with you (heather's favorite)

What's brown and sticky? -- a stick

What's red and not there -- no tomatoes

What's white and flies through the sky? -- the coming of the lord

What do you get when you cross a turkey with a penguin? -- a very cross penguin