There was an older man that was married to a much younger woman, n he was having trouble lasting long enough in bed. So he went to the doctor n was told he should pleasure himself before having sex n he would last longer. One day, he gets a call from his wife who says she's very horny. On his way home, he remembers what the doctor said n decides to jerk it before he gets home. He thinks, "Well, I can't do it in the car, but if I get under it I can pretend I'm fixing my car." So he gets under the car, closes his eyes, n starts jerkin it. A few minutes later, there's a tug at his pants leg. In order to keep the image of his beautiful wife, he doesnt open his eyes, but just hollars, "Yeah?" "I'm Officer Brown. What are you doing down there?" "Well, officer, I'm checking my axle; I think it's loose." "Well, mister, while you're down there, u might wanna check your brakes; your car's 2 blocks down the road crashed into a tree."