An Irish daughter had not been to the house for over five years. When she had returned, her father cussed her out, "Where have you been all this time, you ingrate! Why didn't you write us, not even a line to let us know how you were doing? Why didn't you call? You little tramp! Don't you know what you put your Mum through??!!"

His daughter, crying, replied, "Sniff, sniff... Dad... I became a prostitute..."

The father was furious. "WHAT!!? Out of here, you shameless harlot! Sinner! You're a disgrace to this family - I don't ever want to see you again!"

"OK Dad, as you wish." the daughter replied. "I just came back to give Mum this luxury fur jacket, title deeds to a ten bed-roomed mansion, plus a savings account certificate for £5 million. For my little brother, this gold Watch, and for you Daddy the spanking new Lexus limited edition convertible that's parked outside plus a lifetime membership to the Country Club. And I have an invitation for you all to spend New Years' Eve on board my new yacht in the Riviera, and...."

The father stopped her, "Now what was it you said you had become?"

Girl, crying again, "Sniff, sniff... A prostitute Dad!"

"Oh! Sweet Jesus!" he replied, "You scared me half to death, girl! I thought you said 'a Protestant.' Come here and give your old man a hug!"




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