At the start of English class, the teacher asked the students to use the word, definitely, in a sentence.

Little Timmy raised his hand. The teacher pointed and said, “Yes, Timmy, can you use the word definitely in a sentence?”

Little Timmy stood and said, “The grass is definitely green.”

The teacher shook her head and replied, “No Timmy, sometimes the sun is so hot, it browns the grass, so the grass is not definitely green.”

Little Susie raised her hand and said, “The sky is definitely blue.”

“No Susie, sometimes there are clouds in the sky. So the sky is not definitely blue,” the teacher stated.

Little Johnny raised his hand.

“Yes, Johnny, can you use the word definitely in a sentence?”

“Um, well … when you break wind, does it have chunks in it?” Johnny asked as he squirmed in his seat.

“No,” the teacher replied.

Little Johnny stood and said, “Then may I be excused, because I have definitely just shit on myself.”