The Liverpool manager flies to Baghdad to watch a young Iraqi play
football,
is suitably impressed and arranges for him to come over to Anfield.

Two weeks later Liverpool are 4-0 down to Man Utd with only 20
minutes
left.

The manager gives the young Iraqi striker the nod and on he goes.

The lad is a sensation, scores 5 goals in 20 minutes and wins the game
for Liverpool .

The fans are delighted, the players and coaches are delighted and the
media
love the new star.

When the player comes off the pitch he phones his mum to tell her
about his
first day in English football.
'Hello mum, guess what?' he says 'I played for 20 minutes today, we
were 4-0
down but I scored 5 and we won. Everybody loves me, the fans, the
media,
they all love me.'

'Wonderful,' says his mum, 'Let me tell you about my day. Your father
got
shot in the street and robbed, your sister and I were ambushed, raped
and
beaten and your brother has joined a gang of looters, and all while
you were
having such great time.'

The young lad is very upset. 'What can I say mum, but I'm so sorry.'

'Sorry?!?! Sorry?!?!' says his mum, 'It's your fault we moved to
Liverpool in the first place !!!!!'