Why do men whistle when they're sitting on the toilet?
Because it helps them remember which end they need to wipe.

How can you tell when a man is well hung?
When you can just barely slip your finger in between his neck and the noose.


What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.

What did God say after creating man?
I can do so much better.

How do you get a man to stop biting his nails?
Make him wear shoes.

How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manuals."