A man lived next door to a monk. He constantly heard a strange noise coming from the house. Well, at first he tried to just ignore it. But after a little while he just couldn’t take it so he went and knocked on the monk’s door. The monk opened the door and said, “Yes, can I help you?” The man asked, “I’d like to know what that noise coming from your house is.” The monk replied, “I’m sorry, I can’t tell you, you’re not a monk.” So the man asked, “How do I become a monk then?” The monk said, “Well, to start, you must go the next 5 years eating only potato chips.” So the man, determined to find out what that noise was, went home and spent the next 5 years eating only potato chips. Finally, he returned to the monk and said, “OK, it’s been 5 years and I’ve only eaten potato chips. Now can I know what that noise is?” The monk replied, “No, you’re still not a monk. Now you must go 7 years and drink nothing but water.” Well, the man wasn’t looking forward to waiting 7 more years. But as he had already come 5 years, and he was determined to find the source of that noise, he went home and drank nothing but water for 7 years. When finally he reached the end of those 7 long years, he once again returned to the monk and said, “It’s been 7 years and I’ve drank nothing but water, now can I find out what that noise is?” The monk said, “No, you’re still not a monk. Now we must test your faith. Go to the highest cliff in the area and jump off.” Well, the man had come this far and he wasn’t going to back down, so he went to the highest cliff and jumped. Luckily, there was a safety net at the bottom of the cliff, and when he climbed out the monk was waiting for him. The monk led him back to his house and said, “You have passed the tests, you are now a monk. I assume you now wish to know what causes the noise you have been hearing?” The man replied, “Oh God yes, I’ve waited over 12 years to find out.” So the monk gestured for him to follow and led him down the stairs into the basement. Once in the basement, the monk opened a door which led into a tunnel. The monk told the man to go to the end of the tunnel. So the man started walking, it went on for ages, but finally he reached the end. There was only one more door between him and the source of the noise, he could tell. Slowly he grabbed the doorknob, turned it, and opened the door. In the room he saw…I’m sorry I can’t tell you what he saw.

You’re not a monk.