This teenager is nearing the end of his senior year in college. Unfortunately, he has to share a room with his 9 yr old brother. They sleep on a bunk bed.

One night he brings his date home. He takes her to his room and sees that the brother is asleep on the bottom bunk. They climb up on the top bunk.

As you might expect, things start to heat up. The older brother remembers that his kid brother is asleep, so he tells his date to whisper "lettuce" if she wants it harder and "tomato" if she wants a new position.

LETTUCE! TOMATO! LETTUCE! LETTUCE! TOMATO! LETTUCE!
she screams.

Whoa whoa pull it out! pull it out now! she screams; suddenly from the bottom bunk they hear:

Hey will you guys stop making sandwiches up there? You're getting mayonnaise all over my face!!