A New York family wants to put Grandpa in a nursing home, but all the city’s facilities are full. So they decide to put him in a highly touted home in Mississippi. After a few days, they call him.

“How do you like it so far?” the grandson asks.

“It’s wonderful,” he says. “Let me tell you about the friendly residents here.

“There’s a musician who hasn’t played the violin in 20 years, but everyone still calls him Maestro.

“There’s a physician here who hasn’t practiced medicine for 25 years, and they still call him Doc.

“And me, I haven’t had sex for over 30 years, yet everybody still calls me the F*cking Yankee.”