A farmer walks into his bedroom carrying a sheep in his arms and says, "Honey, this is the cow I make love to when you have a headache."

The wife, lying in bed reading a book, looks up and says, "If you weren't such an idiot, you'd know that's a sheep, not a cow."

The farmer replies, "If you weren't such a presumptuous bitch, you'd realize I was talking to the sheep."