A dairy farmer orders a high-tech milking machine. When it arrives, he reads the instructions. All the farmer needs to do is place the cow’s udder in the device’s tubes and press a button. The rest is automatic.
The farmer is very lonely, so he decides to try the machine out on himself. He slides his penis into one of the tubes and presses the button. The machine starts whirring and the suction begins.
After an hour of fun, the farmer is finished. He presses the button again, but the device doesn’t turn off. He can’t pull out and sees no other way to stop the machine.
Frantic, the farmer finds the customer service number in the instructions and calls with his cell phone. “I ordered your milking machine and used it on, um, one of my cows,” he tells the customer service rep on the other end. “How do I get if off?”
“Oh, don’t worry,” the rep responds. “The machine automatically releases once it collects two gallons of milk.”