Liv Tyler says to her doctor, "I have a new boyfriend, and he's only sixteen...I want you to operate on my private parts to make them smaller. I want to have the vagina of a sixteen year old. And this has to be our secret...no leaks, no tabloids."

When Liv wakes up after the operation, her doctor is standing there. She looks at the foot of the bed, and sees three bouquets of flowers.

She says, "How could you do this? I told you this was a secret."

The doctor says, "Liv, relax. The first bouquet is from me. The second bouquet is from the anesthesiologist. He worked side by side with me on your operation, he's gay, and he's one of your biggest fans. He won't tell a soul. And the third bouquet is from a guy in the Burn Unit who wanted to thank you for his new ears."