The Top Ten Reasons I am not That Guy:

10. If you can spend $100 on a garlic-mango-cucumber masque cream, I can spend $100 on a drill.

9. I don't think wearing matching outfits is acceptable. Ever.

8. I don't believe in spending money on frilly throw pillows we won't use and no one will see.

7. I believe I will be able to sleep just fine on a bed that doesn't have a duvet cover.

6. I believe almost anything you want me to do can wait until after the game is over.

5. I don't believe "going antiquing" is an acceptable use of a day off.

4. "Nothing." is a perfectly acceptable answer to the question 'What are you thinking?'

3. I know you can put gas in the car. I've seen it!

2. If you ask me if you look fat in that dress, and you do, I'll say yes.

1. I leave the toilet seat up.