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Things you don't want to hear from Technical Support

-Do you have a sledgehammer or a brick handy?

-That's right, not even McGyver could fix it.

-So -- what are you wearing?

-Duuuuuude! Bummer!

-Looks like you're gonna need some new dilithium crystals, Cap'n.

-Press 1 for Support. Press 2 if you're with 60 Minutes. Press 3 if you're with the FTC.

-We can fix this, but you're gonna need a butter knife, a roll of duct tape, and a car battery.

-In layman's terms, we call that the Hindenburg Effect.

-Hold on a second... Mom! Timmy's hitting me!

-Okay, turn to page 2527 in your copy of Dianetics.

-Please hold for Mr. Gates' attorney.
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