To Be a Good Liberal
lancer02es
Published
10/18/2009
19 WAYS TO BE A GOOD LIBERAL
1. You have to be against capital punishment, but support abortion on demand.
2. You have to believe that businesses create oppression and governments create prosperity.
3. You have to believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding citizens are more of a threat than U.S. nuclear weapons technology in the hands of Iran or Chinese and North Korean communists.
4. You have to believe that there was no art before federal funding.
5. You have to believe that 12 million people illegally entering our country unchecked is somehow a good thing.
6. You have to believe that gender roles are artificial, but being homosexual is natural.
7. You have to believe that the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal funding.
8. You have to believe that the same teacher who can't teach 4th-graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex
9. You have to believe that torture is never an option because terrorists will give us information if we say please.
10. You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it.
11. You have to believe that welfare doesnt breed laziness and entitlement, but helps people get back on their feet.
12. You have to believe the NRA is bad because it supports certain parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good because it supports certain parts of the Constitution.
13. You have to believe that "personal responsibility" is a facist creation, while scapegoating will point out and somehow solve all societal problems.
14. You have to believe that Margaret Sanger, Gloria Steinem, and Jimmy Carter are more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, Benjamin Franklin, and Abraham Lincoln.
15. You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas and set-asides are not.
16. You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked anywhere it's been tried is because the right people haven't been in charge.
17. You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag queens and transvestites should be constitutionally protected, and manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.
18. You have to believe that Al Gore invented the internet and discovered global warming.
19. You have to believe that this message is a part of a vast, right-wing conspiracy
1. You have to be against capital punishment, but support abortion on demand.
2. You have to believe that businesses create oppression and governments create prosperity.
3. You have to believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding citizens are more of a threat than U.S. nuclear weapons technology in the hands of Iran or Chinese and North Korean communists.
4. You have to believe that there was no art before federal funding.
5. You have to believe that 12 million people illegally entering our country unchecked is somehow a good thing.
6. You have to believe that gender roles are artificial, but being homosexual is natural.
7. You have to believe that the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal funding.
8. You have to believe that the same teacher who can't teach 4th-graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex
9. You have to believe that torture is never an option because terrorists will give us information if we say please.
10. You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it.
11. You have to believe that welfare doesnt breed laziness and entitlement, but helps people get back on their feet.
12. You have to believe the NRA is bad because it supports certain parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good because it supports certain parts of the Constitution.
13. You have to believe that "personal responsibility" is a facist creation, while scapegoating will point out and somehow solve all societal problems.
14. You have to believe that Margaret Sanger, Gloria Steinem, and Jimmy Carter are more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, Benjamin Franklin, and Abraham Lincoln.
15. You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas and set-asides are not.
16. You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked anywhere it's been tried is because the right people haven't been in charge.
17. You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag queens and transvestites should be constitutionally protected, and manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.
18. You have to believe that Al Gore invented the internet and discovered global warming.
19. You have to believe that this message is a part of a vast, right-wing conspiracy
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