Little Johnny comes home from school one day, and he says to his mother, "Mom, today I got laid."

The mother is, of course, shocked and says to the boy, "What did you say?
Go upstairs to your room and don't come out until your father gets home."

So, the father comes home and the mother says to the father, "Why don't you go upstairs and ask your son what he's been doing today?"

So the father walks up the stairs and gets up there, slams the door and says, "Son, what did you do today?"

Little Johnny said, "Dad, today I got laid."

The father is really proud of his son and all, and he says to his son, "Son, that's great. You're becoming a man. So, how did you like it?"

Little Johnny said, "Dad, it was great, but next time I'm using vaseline, my butt's killing me."