I consider Wal-Mart to be God's gift to shoppers. Here are the similarities I have noticed between the kingdom of Heaven and the Kingdom of Everyday Low Prices.


Heaven: St. Peter greets you at the gates


Wal-Mart: Some old geezer named Peter greets you at the automatic doors


Heaven: Eternal


Wal-Mart: Open 24 hours


Heaven: Where old people go when they expire


Wal-Mart: Where old people go when they retire


Heaven: Plenty of Room for everyone who loves God


Wal-Mart: Plenty of Parking for Everyone


Heaven: Golden-haired angels shouting the glory of God


Wal Mart: Purple-haired obese women shouting for a price check on diapers


Heaven: Salvation and redemption no matter what your sin


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