1) "No cell phones in class"
(With my teacher's salary, I can barely afford my mortgage, so why should you have the luxery of a cell phone?)

2) "Go to the principle's office."
(Hmm...I couldn't find anything he did wrong, maybe the principle can...)

3) "No food in class. Give it to me."
(Damn, I missed breakfast this morning...)

4) "I'll give you a warning, but next time it's detention!"
(Oh, please don't screw up again, I've got a life!)

5) "Go home and change, that skirt is way too short"
(I can't risk humiliation by horniness, so get changed bitch!)

6) "Give me that Playboy magazine, I'll be confiscating it."
(If "confiscate" means masturbate to...)

7) "A refferal for that foul language"
(If I can't cuss, neither can you)

8) "No PDA on campus!"
(I can't even get a fucking bitch, why should you?!)