- Spent a decade on the leading edge of drug experimentation.

- Still boots to DOS.

- Still sending messages with his secret decoder ring.

- Still traumatized from the forest fire in "Bambi".

- Stuck on the down escalator of life.

- Stumped by anything child-proof.

- Subtle as a well-thrown brick.

- Suffers from Clue Deficit Disorder.

- Surfing in Nebraska.

- Switch is on, but no one's receiving.

- Takes 1.5 hours to watch "60 Minutes".

- Takes an hour to cook minute rice.