While historians can’t pinpoint the first blowjob ever, we know now that even neolithic humans weren’t afraid to go downtown. How do we know this? Because there are cave drawings depicting women giving men oral sex. In fact, there’s even a cave portrait showing the story of a girl getting the Eiffel Tower.

The origin of the word “blowjob” comes from the Victorian times. Back in those days, a “Blown Woman” was the term for a prostitute. Therefore, a “blow job” was something that paid professional was accustomed to.

The image you see here is from Ancient Egyptian times. According to Egyptian myth, the god Osiris was hacked to pieces in an enemy. His faithful wife fully reconstructed him, and blew life back into him via his manhood. This method still works today, in regards to waking men out of a deep sleep.

Even the most religious bible-thumpers can’t hate on blowjobs, since they’re mentioned in The Bible. Here’s an excerpt from Songs of Solomon, Chapter 2, Verse 3: “Like an apple tree among the trees of the forest, so is my beloved among the young men. In his shade I took great delight and sat down, and his fruit was sweet to my taste.”

Believe it or not, Saturday Night Live was on the money with their skit about Will Ferrell taking yoga for one reason, and one reason only. Autofellatio is 100% a real thing, although it was estimated sex expert Alfred Kinsey that only two or three men in a thousand can do it.

Bats are the only other organisms that practice fellatio. Female bats will often over and lick their partner’s parts to extend intercourse. You’d think that the males would finish even faster, but that’s strangely not the case. In instances where the female didn’t lick her partner, the sex lasted an average of 100 seconds faster.

Malaysia, the country where practically everything is illegal, has banned blowjobs. Thankfully the law itself isn’t enforced, but its very existence is awful enough.

Most of you are already probably aware of this, but when a person gives a blowjob, the amount of blood that flows to their lips increase.

In a recent study, 60% of women claimed they preferred to give blow jobs than hand jobs.

In another recent study, 100% of men preferred blowjobs to not getting blowjobs.