“Wow! You look way better than you do in your photos.”So you’re basically saying that she or he looks busted in the photos, right? Don’t get upset if the reply you get is “Too bad you don’t.”

“Hurry up you lazy cow!” (Referring to the waitress but not to her face)What woman doesn’t love an aggressive chauvinist who “respects” hard-working women?

“Do you think I am good-looking/beautiful?”Insecurity and lack of confidence aren’t exactly two things that people admire in others, you know.

“You remind me of my mom.”This is way too freaky to say on a first date or ever really. Please don’t ever say this because every sane woman will hate it.

“My ex and I used to come to this place all the time. It was her/his favorite steakhouse.”It’s time to start eating sushi then.

“I would like to introduce you to my parents.”Umm, are you really that desperate?

“Are your boobs real? Can I touch them?”You’ve probably watched too much porn during your life but unfortunately for you real life is a little different from porn. Just make sure there’s no wine, water, soda, or any kind of liquid near the table because it will end up in your face.

“I would never notice you in a club, to be honest.”Just shoot him/her. Trust me, it will hurt a lot less than this comment.

“Excuse me but I really have to take this call. It’s really important.”After that, just make sure you leave him or her waiting for the next thirty minutes at the table while you’re talking, giggling, and having fun with whomever you talking to on the phone.

“I am single because it’s really hard to find someone on my level.”Oh dear Lord! Kanye is that you?

“I don’t know how to put this but I’m kind of homeless right now.”All right, you just broke up and can’t afford to pay for your own place and you’re back living at your mom’s temporarily at age thirty-three. Just be honest, no biggie.

“I know it might sound crazy but I feel like I’ve known you my whole life.”“I know it might sound crazy but I feel like I’ve known you my whole life.”

“I don’t mean to be rude but how much money do you make?”Especially if you’re the lady and you ask such a thing on the first date?!

“Would you mind if we split the check?”Especially if you’re the man and you don’t pay on the first date, that’s just being cheap!

“I’m just in it for the sex. I hope you don’t mind me saying.”If you’re someone like Casanova or at least Rocco Siffredi I guess you could get away with saying something like that. However, because we all know you ain’t, it’s better that you don’t.

“I wouldn’t mind getting married next year.”Imagine saying that to your date at a New Year’s Eve party a few minutes before midnight. Being desperate has never been sadder than this before.

“God, you’re so hot. I hope we run into my ex here. She will be so jealous.”Enough with the ex-talk already! An ex is an ex for a reason so just move on!

“I just Googled you while you were in the bathroom. I can’t get enough of you.”Because looking like an obsessed stalker on the first date will make you look even cooler, right?

“Can you imagine how beautiful our children will be?”Do I really need to explain why this is something you don’t want to say on a first date?

“You’d really look great in my bedroom.”But you’re not in the bedroom…so keep dreaming

“Is your best friend single? Why don’t you call her (him) and tell her (him) to pass by?”There are more polite ways to show them that you’re not interested and there are definitely millions of other people to date instead of their best friend. No need to hurt other people’s feelings.

“My last girlfriend was so sexy. I don’t think I will ever find someone so hot.”With an attitude like this I am afraid that your last girlfriend might be the last woman you will ever date till you die.

“I didn’t know this was supposed to be a date.”Simply put: Was it that disastrous of a date?