“My dog (Piglet) fell in a septic tank this morning. He’s completely fine but uhh he smells like shit.

“My earbud fell out of my ear and into the oven. Had to take the oven apart to get it back.”

“Went down to the basement to do laundry..”

“Finished” a puzzle!”

“Ordered some sushi.”

“If you have ever wondered what happens if you spill nail polish remover on you keyboard.”

“Just had my second surgery in ten months to remove a mass that keeps coming back.”

“Just wanted to get something out of my pantry.”

“Ordered my kid a 6 piece nugget meal, this is what he got in his nugget box.”

“One finger of my glove busted while I was dying my hair black…”

“My UPS driver ran over my package.”

“My “cream filled” pastry”

“Bought the Pokeball Plus today. Excited to use it, but came home to my dog chewing it up…”

“Just got my 75 inch TV delivered from Best Buy, unboxed it, hung it up, turned it on, and this is what it looks like…”

“Need I say more?”

“Well, the sink it is.”

“Well, I was looking forward to reading my new book…”

“Guess who just learned how to open cans with a spoon after realizing they no longer own a can opener?”

“I was lucky enough to get hold of a PS5, before slicing my thumb open and needing surgery to repair a tendon. No use of that thumb until the splint is off!”

“My four year old nephew got hold of a bottle of nail polish and now my sister’s car looks as if she’s hit someone on the road.”

“Left my covid vaccine card in my pocket on laundry day.”

“My randomly generated username from Revolut that I’m not able to change.”

“You’ll be bathing in your new tub by Sunday,” the contractor said…last Wednesday.”

“Don’t Drop the Plant You’re Watering in the Sink.”