When husbands text, things invariably go awry.

These men have shown their wives just what it means to get comfortable with them, and maybe these women wish they had backed out of the relationship sooner.

It's not just bad dad jokes, but a seriously warped perception of reality to think sending any of these texts would elicit a positive response.

But in these guys' defense, they probably weren't thinking very clearly when they sent these messages anyway, so we can't be too harsh on them.

Post the weirdest text message you've ever sent in the comments below and enter for a chance to win absolutely nothing.

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