I worked at a museum and had to let a girl go because she was going around telling everyone that dinosaurs weren’t real because no animals can breathe fire. She was a law student.

I heard a person say, 'I don't want to swim in the ocean because I might get pregnant by a sperm whale.'

Someone said that Adam and Eve were white because they had seen pictures.

Watching a sunset on the ocean one day when a late teens person asked me why the ocean doesn't put the sun's fire out.

A friend in high school told me he didn’t take the SAT because he heard it’s easier the second time.

My friend said, 'You're trying to tell me that our sun is a star? What are all those other things?' I proceed to show her an observable universe’s size comparison video. She said, 'Humans can’t look that far, I can’t even see the moon sometimes.'

A girl in my eighth grade geology class once said that the oceans were so polluted because the dirty animals wash themselves in it.

It was night at summer camp and when I turned on a flashlight during a storm this guy started yelling at me to shut it off because, apparently, light attracts lightning.

Someone said that birds are mammals because they have meat.

Her: “I think the law that requires you to wear a seatbelt is sooooo stupid. My body, my choice.” Me: “Well what about your five-year-old son? You wouldn’t want to hurt him if he was riding with you, right?” Her: (shrugs) “When it’s your time to go, it’s your time to go.” Me: “Really? That’s how you feel about that? I mean...why even look before crossing the street, if ‘When it’s your time to go, it’s your time to go’?” Her: “Actually, I usually don’t look when I cross the street.”

I sat next to a girl in bio who got 40% on our first test. She seemed quite pleased and said that now she only needed to get 40% again to have an average of 80%.

"The spork is the devil's utensil because it's the amalgamation of masculine fork and feminine spoon, trying to blur gender lines in society."

Someone told me the South Pole is hot because it's the south.

‘You’re twins? No you’re not. You can’t be twins if you don’t look alike. ’ Ma’am we’re fraternal.

That rabbits come from eggs.

My coworker asked my boss, 'Can I have Monday off? It's my anniversary.' My boss responded, 'You got married on a Monday?

"Why are people Canadian?"

“Do you guys ride horses to school?” I’m from Houston... apparently my friend from New York thought all Texans had horses

That the biggest number was 1,000

The TA for one of my classes in college said his parents didn't let him watch Veggie Tales as a kid because 'vegetables aren't supposed to have souls.'

"Math isn't real. Like if I said 2+2=5 it would be true." This was from a nursing student.

'It's not an MLM, you have to pay for those and they are illegal... I only paid £50 to get started'

An ex tried telling me that his therapist assured him that it was MY sole responsibility to remain in a relationship with him to keep his sanity in check.....i obviously disagreed. Im not your personal prescription.

Someone once asked me, 'When is 9/11 again?' I didn't know if they were joking or not so I laughed. They were serious.

There was a kid at my school who said his mom didn’t let him watch SpongeBob because she 'didn’t want the gay spirits in the house.' A few years later, he told everyone he was a furry so I don't know what changed over that time.

My step sister told me we should see the PG-13 movie because PG meant 'pretty good.

Someone told me that John Lennon was, in fact, the first president to be assassinated.

That the post office doesn't ship mail to the Netherlands because you can't send physical mail to Hell. Just wanted to mail a postcard to my family in Eindhoven.

“Pumpkins aren’t natural, because they last too long” I then explained the concept of skin and how long jack-o-lanterns last compared to an unbroken pumpkin, and you should should have seen the look on her face

The root word of infant was "infinite", therefore, infants have infinite wisdom.