It's an old habit of mine to check the toilet tanks at our local dive bar for any free "loot." It sounds weird, but it's kind of like prospecting: you never know when you're gonna strike gold.

I found a handgun, once. Oddly enough, a guy in a tracksuit and a gold chain hurried into the stall right when I was done, despite the other one being empty. Needless to say, I saved the handwashing for home and hightailed it out of there.

Last week, while we were all out drinking in memory of the interns slain by the lady sasquatch, I did my usual rounds and struck gold again with this batch of fun randoms. No random is more fun than a free random.