Ramses II, also known as the God King, lived to be 90 years old, which was mind boggling for the era. He died of a dental disease and hardened arteries. He is believed to have been by far the oldest man in Egypt at the time of his death.

"Otzi the Iceman" is the oldest preserved human body ever discovered. The time of his death dates to roughly 3500 BC. He died from falling into an Austrian glacier. His body was so well preserved, the mountain climbers who found him in 1991 thought that he was the victim of a recent murder and called the police. It wasn't until an autopsy was performed that he was discovered to be ancient. His body was so well preserved, that coroners were able to tell what his last two meals were, as well as make out some tattoos that he had... from over 5500 years ago!

Many victims of human sacrifice were mummified. This particular specimen was discovered in 1997. It is unclear whether she was part of a human sacrifice ritual, or if she died of shock when her husband tried to take her picture with no makeup on. Her body language suggests the latter.

This girl got white girl wasted at this "totally wicked party" and passed out at an Inca bus stop. No one's sure if she's actually dead or if she's just been blacked out for 721 years. A doctor pokes her every day in hopes that she will eventually wake up with some totally awesome stories.

These people lined up early at a Sunrise Records in California to get their copy of the Guns 'N Roses album "Chinese Democracy" as soon as Axel Rose announced that it was in production.

This man's identity is a complete mystery. All that is known is that he had a severe case of mud-butt and died while wiping. It is estimated that he wiped for 17 days straight before finally collapsing. Over 382 rolls-worth of papyrus toilet paper were found next to his body... each one with a noticeable skid mark. It's like he was wiping a permanent marker.

"Starbucks Mummy" is the first and so far only known case of a girl dying because she literally couldn't even.

Despite its appearance, this mummy has only been dead for 5 years. This man's name was Richard Stevens Jr, an AR manager for a small Canadian record label. He was visited by a 15 year-old Justin Bieber and was asked to listen to a demo. He instantly died and mummified in this exact position 22 seconds into the first song.

This Egyptian mummy is the oldest documented proof of the earliest duckface. In ancient Egypt, posing for stone carvings while making the duckface was punishable immediately by death. Historians unanimously agree this law was at the heart of humanity's most intellectually advanced era and should be brought back.

This mummified baby know as "The Gerber Mummy" is the current reigning world champion for the annual Most Adorable Mummy Award... He has won the prestigious title 2517 years in a row.

This is my cat Patches who went missing 4 years ago. I found her today behind the radiator in the basement. Still cute though!

Lil' Wayne before he grew out his dreads.

Lindsay Lohan's most recent nomakeupselfie