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redneck pick up lines
- 13) Yer face reminds me of a wrench, every time I think of it, my nuts tighten up
- Oct, 23 2008 07:52pm

a new priest
- 9. When David was hit by a rock and knocked off his donkey, don't say he was stoned off his ass. 10. We do not refer to the cross as the "Big T" 11. When Jesus broke the bread at the Last Supper he said, "Take this and eat it for it is my body." He did not say "Eat me." 12. The Virgin Mary is not called "Mary with the Cherry." 13. The recommended grace before a meal is not: Rub-A-Dub-Dub thanks for the grub, yeah God. 14. Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at St. Peter's, not a peter pulling contest at St. Taffy's.
- Oct, 13 2008 07:51pm

twoblondes
- They've pulled their collars off while they were playing.""There's got to be some way to tell them apart," says the second blonde. After several more hours of concentration, the first blonde finally comes up with another idea, "I know! Why don't you take the black one and I'll take the white one!"
- Oct, 9 2008 07:49pm

when ford met god.
- "Finally," Ford concluded, "the intake is too close to the exhaust, the headlights are too small, & fuel consumption is outrageous." God then told Ford to wait while He went over to check out some information on His Celestial Computer. Upon returning, God informed the car maker: "The invention may be flawed, but according to these statistics, more men are riding my invention than yours."
- Sep, 23 2008 09:02pm

highway patrol man
- By this time, the Judge was fairly interested in Boudreaux's answer and said to the lawyer, "I'd like to hear what he has to say about his favorite mule, Bessie." Boudreaux thanked the Judge and proceeded, "I had just loaded Bessie, my favorite mule, into the trailer and was driving her down the highway when this huge semi-truck and trailer ran the stop sign and smacked my truck right in the side. I was thrown into one ditch and Bessie was thrown into the udder.. I was hurting, real bad and didn't want to move at tall. But, I could hear ole Bessie moanin and groanin. I knew she was in some kind o' terrible shape just by her groans. Shortly after the accident, a Highway Patrolman, came on the scene. He herd Bessie moanin' and groanin' so,he went over to her. After he took hisself a look at her, he took out his gun and shot her between the eyes.then the Patrolman came crossthe road, gun in hand, and looked at me, and said 'How are you feeling?'" "Now what da hell would you say?!"
- Sep, 23 2008 08:44pm

st francis house of prostitution!
- 'Very well my son. Please follow me.' He is led through many winding passages and is soon quite disoriented. The nun stops at a closed door and tells the man, 'Please knock on this door.' He does so and another nun in a long habit, holding a tin cup answers the door... This nun instructs, 'Please place $100 in the cup then go through the large wooden door at the end of the hallway.'He puts $100 in the cup, eagerly trots down the hall and slips through the door pulling it shut behind him. The door locks, and he finds himself back in the parking lot facing another sign: GO IN PEACE.YOU HAVE JUST BEEN SCREWED BY THE SISTERS OF ST FRANCIS. SERVES YOU RIGHT, YOU SINNER.
- Sep, 8 2008 08:03pm

you see that girl over there
- some jokes, if they are to long won't finish the post, it happened to me twic.e
- Aug, 21 2008 05:50pm

airplane
- yeaa i jus kinna heard it tha other day, so sry if it's old to yew, but it's new to me.
- Aug, 21 2008 05:38pm

redneck pick up lines